The below interview is from Urbasm.com. The interviewee is Jennifer B. Rhodes a psychologist . My comments are below hers. **This was first posted in 2015**
Jennifer B. Rhodes in the Urbasm interview says:
“This is just simple proper etiquette. More and more women are now asking men out so it is okay for you to assume that they should pay for the date; but please offer (as you would expect your date to the same).“
Dyann’s commentary in ITALICS below…
***This tip should ONLY be for MEN. I don’t think women should ask men out AT ALL. When I was young and not as in touch with my womanhood as I am now, I used to ask guys out on dates and ask them to dance at clubs.
I usually got turned down.
The few times the guy accepted; it didn’t go well. It just seemed mixed up. Besides, the guys I found attractive didn’t seem to find me attractive. Since then I’ve learned that it’s important for a woman to let HIM ask you out and pay for the first date. After that go Dutch. If he doesn’t ask you out, he either wasn’t that interested in you or he was too afraid to ask.
Either way he’s not strong enough for a real relationship. Next.***
Jennifer B. Rhodes says,
“Nothing drives women crazier than men who run “hot and cold.”
If you are not looking for a relationship, say so early on. If you are looking for a committed relationship, try not to think you found the love of your life on the first date.
Pace yourself over the course of 6-8 weeks and collect enough “data” to qualify this person to be your next important relationship.“
Dyann’s response is in ITALICS below…
**Ahhh…. this sounds like a girl thing. Since when did men start planning their marriages on the first date?
And running “hot and cold” is definitely a girl thing. It’s part of our make up and PMS. It gives men the opportunity to be the “rock” they should be for us.
When we are “hot and cold” men need to be the warm solid place for us to lean on. And to be fair… it really would help guys out if we knew what the heck we wanted.
Ladies, don’t make him guess. Figure it out for yourself first and then tell him clearly, simply and… gently for what you need. If he’s a good one.. he’ll step up.**
Dating Tip #3 – Be Patient With Nervousness
“Nothing infuriates me more than men, who are looking to get married, refusing to go on a second date with a woman who was a little shy or nervous on the first date.”
Dyann’s response is in ITALICS
**Guess what? This is normal. You can’t make a decision in one meeting. Avoiding other people’s anxiety often leads you to make poor choices.
Normal women often will settle down with some reassurance and often make the best partners in a long-term relationship. If you can master this skill, you can date anyone and women will be very appreciative.
It could be that everyone is so impatient they can’t meet people where they are right now. Too many people are not fully present right NOW (insert Eckhart Tolle quote).
When I was younger I was ALWAYS nervous on a first date. As I usually was when I was expected to be sweet, pretty, witty and flirtatious in the hope of attracting the attention of a desirable male.
Unless a woman seems like a complete mental basket case (not me, of course) most men usually don’t mind a little nervousness. If he’s smart, he’ll be able to recognize it’s because she cares about making a good impression.
That’s a good thing, right?**
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Specialist in Male/Female Dynamics and Coach for Men – Dyann Bridges: firstname.lastname@example.org
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