The Relaters Manual

Old School Coaching For The Modern Man

How To Voice Your Boundaries Without Criticism

voice your boundaries, relationships tips, save your marriage, male female dynamics, coach for men

Today we’re going to look at the difference between boundaries and criticism, and yes.

There is a difference. – Click here for the video or on the pic below…

voice your boundaries, no criticism

How To Voice Your Boundaries Without Criticism TRANSCRIPT…


Now, it’s important that when men and women are communicating, that a man understand where he stands with a woman, and women need to get better at offering boundaries, and that doesn’t mean you just criticize them. This is really important, actually.

It makes all the difference in the world to know how to say this is what I really need. And if you could please do ABC, thank it specific. And do it in a way that’s non-judgmental or critical.

We need to remember that men are naturally defensive for a reason, for a very good reason. Their instincts are to defend and protect and be territorial, which is exactly what we want from it. That’s how they defend homes and families and property, and help to take care of people in this world, especially women and children.

So, we don’t want to neuter a man in a way by being too critical when describing what we need, then ladies, we always have to remember, men and women do not think alike that are never going to think like us…

and we don’t want them to…

They’re much more straight forward.

They’re simpler in many ways, and as women is true that we are more vulnerable in many ways, and feminine energy is soft and yielding. That’s the nature of feminine energy, masculine energy is action-oriented and forthright.

And of course, both sexes have both energies, but clearly, if you inhabit a physiology that it is either male or female, you’re going to have more of one than the other.

So having said that…

It is becoming obvious in our society that more and more women are walking around feeling very angry, and a lot of that has to do with the fact that men are not nearly as protective as they used to be, so women feel even more vulnerable, unsupported and unprotected than ever before, and they don’t know what to do about it, so they end up just criticizing…

That’s not gonna work.

And gentlemen, if you’re with a woman who ends up criticizing instead of drawing a real boundary that you can understand, and she expects you to read her mind and then blame you and you don’t… You don’t have to deal with that.

You really don’t…

And you don’t have to argue, just ask or plain and simple what she needs, and if she can’t answer you without criticizing you, and then she doesn’t understand exactly what she needs and perhaps she needs to think about it more.

Than you can state that in a way, calmly

Say, I’m happy to do what you need me to do. I want you to feel comfortable, but if you’re not sure exactly what it is you need, so that I can get specific information on how to fulfill that.

And maybe we can talk about it at another time.

It’s really important not to engage in a lot of tension, but it’s also equally important for a man not to just cave when she criticizes you. You’ve got to at least have the courage to say something and also say it without a lot of anger or aggression in your voice.

Just say it in a commanding, authoritative way… like the M-A-N you are.


It’s time men stand up for themselves and for the women in their lives in a calm, quiet, forthright way.

It all starts with boundaries and criticism, seeing the difference in being able to ask for clarification one way or the other, so ladies, be clear on what you want from your man and get specific man appreciate specifics and gentlemen, you can ask for specifics, and this can all be done in a nice… I don’t matter.

It doesn’t have to be perfect, it’s never perfect, but to maturity is kind of gone out the window in the society, so… That’s it for this one.

Thank you for listening and have a very sensual day.  

You may also be interested in these blog posts…

The Value of Petty Tyrants

The Exuberance of Women

How to Regain the Art of Debate

You don’t Know What You don’t Know about Women

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Specialist in Male/Female Dynamics and Coach for Men

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