In this podcast segment of The Bridges Bulletin – Old School Coaching For The Modern Man, Dyann Bridges discusses How To Deal With A Woman’s Ups & Downs and how this helps to create greater intimacy in your relationship with her.
It’s not easy!
But knowing how to create greater intimacy inside a wonderful relationship with a good woman is worth the effort (and growth) it takes.
In this podcast segment, I discuss why so many women have these ups and downs and why they may not. I also go into how you, as the masculine man you are, can handle these fluctuations with as much aplomb as possible.
In my experience, I’ve noticed that one of the greatest teachers in the school of life are relationships.
Romantic relationships especially. Why? Because we are particularly vulnerable with someone we care about and also sexually attracted to, as well as, someone we want to create greater intimacy with.
Additionally, the physical act of regular sex helps to chemically bond a man and a woman together. It’s in our DNA. We are supposed to love, learn, grow and create greater intimacy with each other.
Have a listen to this short podcast segment where I discuss why women have their ups and downs and how to deal with it.
I want to include a few dictionary definitions of intimacy as well…. because the are so woefully inept.
Take a look…
Dictionary.com has more definitions but they are still just one little line each.
- the state of being intimate.
- a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.
- a close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history, etc.:an intimacy with Japan.
- an act or expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, or the like: to allow the intimacy of using first names. <— the “intimacy” of first names. Really?
- an amorously familiar act; liberty. <— this def is interesting if convoluted
- sexual intercourse.
- the quality of being comfortable, warm, or familiar: the intimacy of the room.
- privacy, especially as suitable to the telling of a secret: in the intimacy of his studio.
For more Old School Coaching tips on Male/Female dynamics and how to restart your life and your relationships AFTER 50 please Check out the blog here…
If you prefer to READ the transcript of this video please scroll down below the video itself…
Welcome to another edition of the Bridges bulletin. Let’s get started.
Hello.. this is Dyann Bridges, and today, I want to talk about dealing with a woman’s ups and downs. Every woman has them and I find this is often one of the biggest sticking points when men start to get close to a woman.
There’s always a time that comes where she gets kind of sad or depressed or emotional, or maybe a little cranky, and for him, it seems like it comes out of the blue…
Which may be true, but I can promise you, if you’re around women enough, you’ll start to see that…
This is always the way it is.
Sometimes it’s part of a monthly cycle, but a lot of times it’s more energetic.
Women are very sensitive to their surroundings and to many different types of shifts, including what goes on inside themselves.
They don’t always know why it happens, but women are in touch with things that are very subtle and deeper and unseen in our world.
What I’ve found oftentimes is that many men, not all men, tend to treat these ups and downs as a distraction or as insignificant… Or as an annoyance, and I don’t think that’s really the best way to approach it.
It’ll just make everything worse…
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PODCAST TRANSCRIPT CONTINUES…
Although I know it’s difficult to handle, it’s always going to be there.
No matter what woman that you choose, there’s always going to be some level of unpredictable ups and downs.
If there isn’t, it’s usually because she’s very shut down and she’s not very in touch with herself, and she’s going through life feeling numb.
So, she doesn’t necessarily get too sad or too angry or too happy which is not conducive to both of you creating greater intimacy.
She’s just sort of in this neutral mode because she’s not really feeling anything…
AND that’s a woman who is probably very damaged and needs to be healed.
So, she wouldn’t be ready for a relationship anyway.
If you’re in a relationship with a woman now or you’re looking for one… Expect ups and downs.
That’s number one.
Number two is, now, how do you handle them?
Because you want to be able to be that solid rock for her.
You don’t wanna make her crazier angry or more depressed, and I think a lot of times men do exactly that without realizing why.
To mitigate that, first of all, know that you’re going to have to stay very, very calm.
You don’t want to start to get engaged in what she’s doing and how she’s being.
So if he starts to be cranky, nasty and bitchy, you want to stay calm.
If you meet that sort of nasty bitchy energy, it’ll just escalate into an argument.
I’m not saying this is easy. It’s very difficult.
But this is how life tests us, and there is no greater test than relationships.
Now, if she’s sad, she’s crying for no reason, no real reason that you can see or that you really understand, then some gentle comfort is called for.
Just giving her a hug or an arm around the shoulder is good. If she wants to be alone, then respect that.
Maybe bringing her a hot drink or a snack or an extra blanket, if you know that might be something that would suit her. Just small acts of comfort like this can go a long way to creating greater intimacy.
What you really, really don’t want to do, and I can’t emphasize this enough, is be dismissive of what she’s dealing with.
It really is one of the things that makes so many women crazy. Women tend to feel disregarded anyway, which may be surprising with the way some women act, but deep down, many women feel like they’re not worth anything unless they look really good and offer sex.
OR if they have some sort of special skill on the job and make a certain amount, but then that’s usually the only areas where a woman may feel worthy.
So although I know it’s difficult, try not to be dismissive because whatever she’s dealing with is important.
Even though it may not necessarily seem important to you, something is going on with her that is making her emotional.
I’m not saying that she shouldn’t try to deal with it in a much more graceful manner, but then that’s where you come in with your solidity and comfort.
Instead of getting wound up with her or dismissive of her, if you just stay solid and let her go through those ups and downs it will help create greater intimacy.
Without judgment. Without thinking, well, has she gone crazy? Is there something wrong with her?
That’s mostly your thing.
When you really look at those thoughts, it’s your thing as a man, and it has a lot to do with the fact that you can’t really fix emotions, you can’t take action on emotions.
And that’s what men do.
They take action on things and they want to fix things, they want to reach a goal, they want to find solutions, and the fact is, when a woman is gripped with her ups and downs, there is no real reason why it happened, more than likely.
There is an undetermined end point, although it will end, and there’s no real way to fix it except riding it out really.
I guess it’s a little bit like a surfer on a wave, which is how women usually deal with their own emotions.
In the meantime, they find a way to work and do what they need to do as gracefully as possible.
That’s the ideal anyway.
And you can help by being a steady, solid presence in her life without judgment, without being distant or dismissive.
You may find it tedious that she’s going through this again. Okay, I get it.
But if you would also see it as a test for you to keep your mind clear and just stay calm. Know that’s all you need to do. There’s nothing to fix.
If you throw up your hands at it, kind of like, ‘What am I gonna do? What can I do?’ that attitude won’t work.
That’s just gonna make it worse.
It’s okay not to know what’s going on.
You’re not supposed to know, even if she doesn’t know.
So… I don’t know, I hope that helps. If you have any more questions, please feel free to contact me.
firstname.lastname@example.org <—- chat with me for free
For more videos like this and more information. You can go to relates manual dot com.
This is Dyann Bridges.
Thank you very much for listening and have a very sensual day.
Dyann Bridges is a publisher, voiceover performer and Advisor for men. If you’d like some help with an issue in your life and want to talk to someone who is objective and compassionate… give me (Dyann) a call.
I’m a specialist in Male/Female dynamics, starting over after 50 and an advisor who can help you find a solution for any problem in your life.
Because I ask you (the expert) the right questions that lead you to the best answer for your situation.
Email me to get better acquainted… email@example.com