The Relaters Manual

Old School Coaching For The Modern Man

The Importance of Avoiding Distractions and Building Strength As A Man For Great Relationships

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In this podcast segment of The Bridges Bulletin – Old School Coaching For The Modern Man, Dyann Bridges discusses…

The Importance of Avoiding Distractions and Building Strength


You can also read the transcript below the video entitled ‘The Importance of Avoiding Distractions and Building Strength’


Transcript of The Importance of Avoiding Distractions and Building Strength


Welcome to another edition of the Bridges Bulletin. Let’s get started.

Hello everyone, this is Dyann Bridges. I’m a coach and confidante for men. Today, I want to talk about the three aspects of being a man that will make your life and your relationships fantastic. Guaranteed.

You to concentrate on these three core issues, of strength, stability and structure.

So in particular, today, I want to talk about building strength.


Because number one, strength in men needs to be developed, it needs to be cultivated and it needs to start early, and it’s something that needs to be refined and practiced throughout a man’s life.

So when I’m talking about building strength, I’m talking about a fortitude, where a man knows what’s important to him, knows his convictions and has the wherewithal to be able to stand up for that, voice it, and physically take action if he has to.

And we’re seeing less and less of this going on today, especially with men under say 40. Far too many men are not developing this strength at all.

They might be nice, but they’re not very reliable, you can’t really trust them with a lot of things or certain responsibilities and you certainly can’t count on them to stand up for something that’s important.

Like in a marriage or in a long-term relationship with a girlfriend or even at work. Guys like this tend to be the nice guy in the office, but people know they’re not really gonna fight for anything.

That’s a problem, and if you don’t see how that’s a problem, then you haven’t really been dealing with life, you’ve been avoiding it. And that seems to be the reason, the main reason for most of our crises these days in 2022.

It’s this avoidance of what is, of the moment and keeping ourselves distracted. Not really looking within and owning what we find there, and for men this is very, very important – to know what you want to fight for, who are you?

Self-definition as a man is really critical, what are your values, what do you value in yourself in others and in life, and then what are you going to do to stand up for? Protect it.


So building strength is number one, without that, a man can’t develop a lot of stability or create a structure in his life. And those three things, strength, stability and structure are vital. If you concentrate on developing no other traits, you can have a fantastic life and have fantastic relationships as a man, just concentrating on those three characteristics, Strength, stability, structure.

And everything starts with strength for men, especially.

Everything does…

So physical strength is kind of a no-brainer, you don’t have to spend hours and hours in the gym, but the school activity is important. Men are creatures of action. So, you want to get moving, you want to test yourself physically on a regular basis, it’s going to make you feel better and it’s going to evolve you energetically.

Your mind is going to be stronger if your body is strong. It isn’t much good, if you have a mind that’s very sharp and strong with a flaccid body. Your body is the tool for implementation, I guess it’s kind of like being a very skilled chef with a dull knife. It’s hard to get anything done.

So, strengthen your body that’s a basic necessity. Definitely.

Now, in heart and mind, you have to know what you value, know who you are. What do you find acceptable and important in yourself and in others in terms of character and quality of human being.

Have standards. Have standards for yourself and others. The most important thing is you really knowing on a deep level what’s important to you and what will you fight for.

This seems to be a big stumbling block for a lot of young men.

So I encourage you to spend a lot of time thinking about that and your willingness to stand up for that.

How willing are you to fight for what’s important and for yourself and for those around you.

And now for those over 40, I have noticed that a lot of men are starting to abdicate their strength, what used to be more important to them when they were younger.

They sort of let it go by the wayside.

Now some things you grow and you mature and you realize some things aren’t as important to you – which is fine.

But those are shifting areas of importance.

Giving up in a certain area of your life is not refinement, and I’m seeing more and more men over 40 or giving up on women and relationships and certain aspects of life in their career, because they feel like they’ve been trying and working so hard in so many different areas and they haven’t gotten the appreciation.

They still get a lot of criticism or they get ignored, but then this is the time when you need to deepen your sense of strength. Dive into that. You might be ignored and criticized in many ways, but are you gonna fight for yourself?

If you’re still upright and breathing, it’s worth the fight. It’s worth the effort to continue to develop that strength.


There’s no end to it. You can go deeper and deeper into this as you get older, and yes, it can be hard, very hard.

Some things do start to feel like they come up over and over again. It’s cyclical, in the same arguments that you have with your girlfriend or wife or the same problems at work or with your friends or in your neighborhood.

It all kind of feels the same after a while, but then that’s where building strength comes in. Strength is knowing that you really can only control what goes on inside of you in your perception and your attitude and that the external world is gonna do what it’s gonna do.

And to understand that and to be okay with it; to have the grace and the strength to just allow the external world to do what it does, and you just keep moving forward. Knowing what’s important to you, knowing that you could very well be criticized and ignored, but you know it’s important to you.

And if it’s not, and you’re getting criticized and ignored for it, maybe it’s time to stop it. Have the strength change that… Over 40, strength starts to become more about refinement.

You’ve seen a lot of sun rises in sunsets, and there’s something about that. It changes you.


Just being in a physical body and living life for a certain period of time, changes you.

Maturity and wisdom take time to integrate into your thought process and into your physical body, into your spirit, your energetic being. And so staying strong in the mean time and keep going down the paths that you see are important to you will take you farther than anything else.

And I wish you much luck with that,  beause we need that.

If you’d like to know more please contact me (Dyann) and we can have a free call and we can chat and discuss where I may be able to help you.

So let’s talk. And in the meantime, thank you for listening and have a very sensual day.



Dyann Bridges is a publisher, voiceover performer and Advisor for men. I offer Old School Coaching tips on life and your relationships.

If you’d like some help with an issue in your life and want to talk to someone who is objective and compassionate… give me (Dyann) a call.

I’m a specialist in Male/Female dynamics, starting over after 50 and an advisor who can help you find a solution for any problem in your life.

How? Because I ask you (the expert) the right questions that lead you to the best answer for your situation.

Email me to get better acquainted…




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