I was quite excited about their choosing my relationship content as it’s great for traffic to this site and it’s always nice to be counted as an expert among other perks.
However, near the end of 2022 I went looking for and received an opportunity to work at a well known online coaching school.
I graciously accepted and have enjoyed my time there so far.
However, that job is under my real name.
Dyann Bridges is a pseudonym.
I did that because there is a lot of relationship content I put forth on the internet which is also very erotic and sensual in nature and didn’t think it wise to attach it to my real name.
I do many things online. Most of them are very “vanilla.”
So when my picture popped up with the Dyann Bridges name in a google search from the UpJourney site, I contacted them to see if it could be removed and my logo replaced for it instead.
They asked me why I wanted to do that, as they need a real picture of all the coaches they feature.
So, I explained.
Once I told them why I wanted to keep my pseudonym and real name and image separate, they were VERY accommodating!!
Which I didn’t think would have, but very grateful they decide to leave my content as is.
As I told them I’m not trying to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes —> as I mean everything I say as Dyann. It’s only the name which is false.
So, having said all that… here are my completely honest opinions and relationship content that UpJourney asked for from me and posted.
I hope you find value in my comments.
Much happiness to you and stay sensual.
From June 29, 2022 on UpJourney.com
Remember, mature adults will still offer respect to others even though they may not like the person
One of the first things you can do is look at your own behavior when dealing with people who don’t like you.
- Is there a reason why some people don’t like you?
- Do you have a habit of, say, interrupting people?
- Are you late or unprepared often?
- Do you ask invasive or inappropriate questions a lot?
These types of behaviors will put people off.
If you can honestly say you don’t do anything that gives others a reason to dislike you, then think of it as an opportunity to like yourself more.
Sometimes life puts obstacles like this in our way to force us to go deeper into who we are.
So, maybe it’s them, not you.
If others are displaying their dislike for you with a variety of disrespectful behavior, like condescension or ignoring, they are the ones demonstrating reason not to be liked.
Remember, too, that mature adults will still offer respect to others even though they may not like the person. These are things to consider if people demonstrate their dislike for you.
The answer to this is that it depends…
A man who’s ’emotionally unavailable,’ which is not a clinical term, by the way, is unavailable for many different reasons.
As well, if by ’emotionally unavailable,’ we mean someone who doesn’t show emotion or talk about his emotions in the course of a relationship, then that could be because a man has been manipulated time and again whenever he spoke of a vulnerability.
Men will dismiss or coerce other men if they speak of feelings that are anything except happy or angry. This is common among men anyway. Women do this to men too.
In fact, many women put men down or humiliate them when they show signs of sadness, depression, or grief, often deeming them as ‘weak.’
When this type of interaction happens often enough, it can create a defense system in a man who shuts down emotionally. He essentially becomes monotone with his displays of emotion.
Now, will he miss a woman after a breakup if he’s emotionally unavailable? If he struggles with being shut down and wants to share himself more, then the answer is yes.
If he uses his emotional unavailability as a weapon or heavy defense system in getting through life, then probably not.
He will have justified his shut-down nature as necessary and will move on quickly. Mostly because he never really became that attached to the woman he dated anyway.
When a man has no desire to be emotionally ‘available,’ then no amount of convincing will bring him out of it. Some men have this pattern of emotional unavailability so deep that they find displays of tears (from sadness or joy) laughable.
Women need to pay attention to the nuance in a man’s physicality. She must listen to his voice and keenly watch his face and body language to determine if he is shut down emotionally.
Most of all, women need to stop fooling themselves by listening only to what a man tells them and ignoring other signs (like body language) that are in contradiction to his words.
It’s a matter of transference…
When I’ve heard female clients say how attracted they are to older men, it’s usually because they had a strong attachment to their father in a positive way.
He made her feel safe and comforted as a girl. He was the protector she needed. The girl loved her father because of these qualities.
As a girl matures sexually, she can transfer these feelings of love and affection she had toward her father toward an older man. It feels natural, especially if the older man makes her feel the same way her father did.
When we’re young, our minds are not discerning. The young are emotional and instinctual. As a girl goes through puberty, she’s often catapulted into the throes of hormonal chaos.
Her father may be the one male who gives her a sense of stability during this time.
If she is heterosexual, it feels natural to transfer feelings of affection toward feelings of attraction to an older man when she’s ready to date.
The love and support of a father (or father figure) create a deep subconscious desire to recreate that feeling with a man when a girl becomes a woman.
This can often happen with older men who give the woman the same feeling as her father did.
It May be Because of “Daddy Issues”
Sometimes little girls are sexually abused by their fathers, an older male relative, or a man in the neighborhood.
When this happens, the psyche sometimes seeks to protect itself by inverting the damage done.
Instead of loathing the man who took advantage of her, a little girl might blame herself. She may grow up feeling a sense of obligation toward older men, especially if they show affection toward her.
If there was little physical pain involved in the sexual abuse, a child’s mind could twist it into something she wants to do instead of resisting.
Resistance can be painful. The psyche seeks to shield us from pain, especially when we’re innocent. This is why you’ll see promiscuity among young women. They are trying very hard to please “daddy.”
The attention and affection of an older man become something she must attain. Her subconscious mind will often twist the abuse, so she feels like she must do something to gain “daddy’s” favor. Otherwise, she might get badly hurt or even die.
In the end, it doesn’t matter too much who you love as long as both people treat each other with love and respect.
Thank you for listening and have a very sensual day.
OTHER POSTS YOU MIGHT LIKE…
For more Old School Coaching tips on Male/Female dynamics and how to restart your life and your relationships AFTER 50 please visit: https://www.relatersmanual.com/category/blog-content/
Dyann Bridges is a publisher, voiceover performer and Advisor for men.
If you’d like some help with an issue in your life and want to talk to someone who is objective and compassionate… give me (Dyann) a call.
I’m a specialist in Male/Female dynamics, starting over after 50 and an advisor who can help you find a solution for any problem in your life.
How? I ask you (the expert) the right questions that lead you to the best answer for your situation.